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erm, stuff. - love like me ・ 日記
non solum memento mori, memento vivere sed etiam
erm, stuff.
I had a strange dream last night. You know the classic dream where you go to school naked and have to take a test, that supposedly everyone's had, but I haven't? Well, I still haven't had it. In the dream, I didn't feel like putting on clothes one morning, so I went around doing stuff naked. No, I wasn't embarrassed or anything. Nobody even noticed that I was naked. I even went to Wal-Mart naked, and ended up in line behind my dad. Nobody noticed I was naked at all. Then when I got in my car to go to the gas station, the seat was bugging me (before I'd been in my sister's car, which has nicer upholstery), so I pulled a tshirt (my clarinets section shirt from 10th grade, to be precise) out of my backpack and put it on. Once I got there, the gas station had a "no shirt no shoes no service" sign up, and even though nobody had noticed I was naked all day, I decided I'd better find some shoes in case they wouldn't let me buy a candy bar and a soda without them. Outside the gas station a gold convertible pulled up with a couple in their 40s in the back seat making out (and no one was driving!). I was gonna go back home to get shoes when I remembered that I had ballet slippers (not real ones, the Isotoner ones you wear around the house) in my backpack too (I do actually have a pair of these, but I don't carry them around with me). And then I woke up.

So yesterday I bought a new toothbrush. Is it just me or do all the toothbrushes now have little rubbery things on them? Eh, I don't suppose it matters. Having a new toothbrush feels good, though. My old one was getting seriously frayed, and I couldn't remember how long ago I'd bought it. So, I went to Walgreens. Just so you all know, I hadn't bought cigarettes in over a year. Not out of willpower, but out of laziness. I haven't had to go inside anywhere I'd normally buy cigarettes in that time. That's not an especially big deal, because most of the time I don't notice not smoking. Usually I buy a pack every couple of months and it doesn't bother me. But I do like cigarettes. And, in case I haven't mentioned it before, I have an oral fixation, which grows more acute when I'm stressed out (or inebriated, but I haven't been that in ages either). For years I bit my fingernails and chewed my lips, which I still do if I don't have anything to stick in my mouth (though I never did suck my thumb). And lately I have been... not stressed out, but definitely frustrated. And I've been trying to cut down on the lip and nail biting, since in cold weather it just makes them chap worse. And raditzsex, damn her, let me smoke some menthols a few weeks ago, and damn me, I liked 'em. So I bought some. So I'm smoking again, at least for a week or so. As long as I don't get pneumonia again (which is why I didn't smoke in 2003) I should be okay with getting things back to normal. You know, a pack at midterms, a pack at finals, and nothing in between.

Oh yeah. And I plan on cutting all my hair off at some point this week. Maybe this weekend. It goes about halfway down my back now, and I'll miss it, but I don't think it's going to get much longer, and these days it gets on my nerves more than anything else, so it's got to go. So if anybody wants to see it before then, this is the place to register your requests for pics and stuff, I guess.
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raditzsex From: raditzsex Date: Wednesday 28th January 2004 19.00 (UTC) (Link)
Yeah! Rock on! Smoking makes you cool. So does short hair. And here's my personal interpretation of your dream.

Most of the time, the at-school-naked dream is a manifestation of insecurity; specifically an insecurity that if people knew the real you they wouldn't like you. It's a very common fear that most people have at least once in their lives. But your dream sounded like it wasn't a fear that people would find out who you really are, but instead it was a feeling of being ignored.
So, the good news is, you are comfortable enough with yourself that your subconscious doesn't cause you embarrassment. The bad news is, you still feel ignored or like an outsider.

I had a weird dream last night, too, but I can't remember enough of it to make it sound cool. It involved the Bebop crew, and some doppleganger aliens that turn into blobs, but that's about all I can recall. It was very cool, I woke up at like 1am and wanted to write it down but I had to sleep (because it was 1am). I'm a phoole.
From: lobotomymonkey Date: Wednesday 28th January 2004 19.08 (UTC) (Link)
No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service.

No Pants? No Problem!
valamelmeo From: valamelmeo Date: Wednesday 28th January 2004 19.16 (UTC) (Link)
Well, the specific shirt I happened to have with me is long enough to cover my butt, and the clerk inside was male, so I don't think they'd have cared.
electric_monk From: electric_monk Date: Wednesday 28th January 2004 19.30 (UTC) (Link)
I've never had a dream where I was naked or anything like that, my dreams are normally just a lot of nonsense. One dream years ago was me and a friend were being chased by vampires, who included my parents and most of the other people who live in the street, and when we found someone to help us we couldn't get in the car since when we got in one side we popped out the other, so we couldn't get more than half-in. In another radioactive spiders were eating people from around this town by dragging them off to a nearby country lane and putting them in radioactive cocoons that sat in puddles of radioactive green goop, which digested them. Maurice from Northern Exposure was in that dream. And then there was the dream where I died, and immediately returned as a ghost, and most of the dream was wandering around doing ghostly things.

But nothing that could really be linked to anything like insecurities ;)
raditzsex From: raditzsex Date: Wednesday 28th January 2004 19.49 (UTC) (Link)
Those are the sorts of dreams I have. They're cool. Sometimes, I'm not even in the dream. I'm just watching it, like a movie. The best one was when the asteroid hit the earth and released the dinosaurs. I'm guessing that you watch movies right before bed, too?
electric_monk From: electric_monk Date: Wednesday 28th January 2004 21.58 (UTC) (Link)
Not particularly ;)