Yeah, I know this actually went around a month or so ago, but I didn't do it then and I'm bored now. So...

If you call me...
Kym, you could be anybody.
Kymmie and I don't immediately give you the Gaze of Death™, you're either my sister, my brother, or my great aunt.
Kim and insist on that spelling, you're one of my parents.
Tweet (don't ask because I don't know), you're my great-grandmother. You're also dead.
Kim Ann, you're my grandmother.
Rena, you're my other grandmother, who always calls my sister and me by each other's names because she's senile.
Mike, you're my step-grandfather, who is also dead.
Kimbarii, you're Japanese.
Léa, you were in my high school Spanish classes.
That Psychotic Bitch, you're Matt McDaniel (or possibly macklinr). And you deserved anything you got.
SyKochiK, you're someone from #starbug, circa 1999-2000.
Shimegami, you're someone from #starbug/#bluemidget, circa 2001-2002.
shinigaminoonna, you're someone from LJ, circa late 2001-early 2003.
valamelmeo, you're someone from LJ.
Arelah or Ari, you're Duo Maxwell.
duoindrag, you've had my AIM screen name for a loooooooong time.
Junebug, you're bbcorno, and I'm going to kill you if you do it again.
Lynx or Flim, you were in Mrs. Moss' 5th grade class at Langwith Elementary in Terrell, Texas, 1991-92.
Pillow-Butt, you're some random black girl I had PE with in 3rd grade (Sigler Elementary, Plano, Texas, 1989-90).
Radar, you're Mrs. Malone, my 6th grade English teacher, or Mrs. Lantrip, the science TA.
Hikari, you attended the Girl Scout day camp thingy I was the song leader at, in 1994 (the tradition is that staff aren't supposed to let the girls know their real names until the end of camp).
If you recognize almost all of these, you're probably raditzsex, or maybe ajr, ang_grrr, lobotomymonkey, or _jamez_.