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I live! - love like me ・ 日記
non solum memento mori, memento vivere sed etiam
I live!
I'm sure I look weird sitting here at the desk wearing sunglasses, but if I don't I'll have a headache later from all the light reflecting off the concrete outside.

I don't have a whole lot to say, really. New site is up and running, and... stuff. I've been knitting. Not a whole lot else, really. This last weekend I had my first regular days off in a long time, if 3 weeks counts as a long time.

My birthday's next week. Yey, 25. Not much to show for it, sadly. I haven't done anything I thought I would have by now, with the possible exception of having a cat. But I do love the cat. ^_^

I know, I know, I shouldn't focus on all the things I haven't done. But it's really hard to hear about the weddings and baby showers of people I knew in high school (or before), knowing that I've never even come close to doing anything like that, and it's something I always thought I would have done by now.

No, I never really gave a shit about college. But I'm so close to finishing now that I'd be a moron not to. If only I could afford it... Well, here's to another year of paying off bills!

I'm getting there. It'll be a while longer, but I'm getting there.
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hnpcc From: hnpcc Date: Tuesday 4th April 2006 21.48 (UTC) (Link)
OK, I admit I come from a completely different culture and it appears we get married a lot later - most of my friends who got married 'early' were getting married at 25/26, the average for Australia is now 29 for women and 31 for men. Last I heard it was going up. Naturally, I'm not helping it.

If it's any help, at 25 I was still in full time education and wondering if I would ever have a life. I was living in a share house, my project sucked, and I was in a relationship that I was liking but was uncertain about any form of long term commitment with.

Hang in, 25's young. Seriously, it is. Finish the college degree, and move out of town for a bit if you can. And take the cat. The only down side of the relationship turned out to be cat allergies, so I have to make do with patting my sister's cat and then brushing everything off. :-)
valamelmeo From: valamelmeo Date: Wednesday 5th April 2006 09.27 (UTC) (Link)
I think the problem is demographics. I was born into, and grew up among people from the demographic (a minority in the US at large, but seemingly everywhere here in the South) that gets married at 18-22 and has kids at about the age I am now. So I'm the only one of my childhood friends I know of who's not married. However, in general, those are people I stopped feeling I had much in common with at about age 15, and all the friends my own age I've made since then and kept in touch with are generally doing the same thing I am right now: working and still in school without much time for anything else.

This doesn't stop my mother (who knows more about the childhood friends than she does about any later ones) from asking me if I'm gay (and me asking what planet she's on) and trying to set me up with anyone she can find. After all, when she was my age, I was 4. Also, all of my older friends (whose ages apparently cluster in the late 30s) are did get married in their early 20s, with one exception, and that exception had a kid at that age anyway. It all just leaves me feeling that I'm missing out on something important (even if it does all end in disaster). And I just don't want to have kids when I'm 30. I should be doing that NOW if I'm going to. And I don't even know anyone I'd consider dating.

Really I think it's all a matter of demographics, though. I'm no longer in the one I think I should be in. I'm not willing to settle for whatever's convenient or practical like my mother or grandmother or most people I know. I suppose I'd feel better about it if I at least had some kind of prospect...
valamelmeo From: valamelmeo Date: Wednesday 5th April 2006 09.32 (UTC) (Link)
Also, I turned out to be lucky with the cat. I actually am allergic to cats. Anyone else's cats make it difficult to breathe after a while. But somehow I got one with no undercoat and practically no dander. In a kitten Val found on her doorstep.

Sometimes it's hard not to believe in fate. ^_~
dansaikyo From: dansaikyo Date: Wednesday 5th April 2006 14.54 (UTC) (Link)
You and me - when we each turn 30, we'll have giant meltdown party things. Drown the horror of our breakdown at turning 30 into fun in the sun. Day of the Dead beckons...
valamelmeo From: valamelmeo Date: Wednesday 5th April 2006 21.01 (UTC) (Link)
If I'm 30 and still the pathetically lonely shell I feel like today, I am definitely getting a house and a couple dozen cats.

I'll have no choice.
dansaikyo From: dansaikyo Date: Wednesday 5th April 2006 23.12 (UTC) (Link)
Trust me: by that time I'll be 31.5 and tripping out so bad it might make the news if I'm still in the same spot I'm in now. I'll join you. You can meet my friend Clara and we'll all ridicule the vapid pretty people that bred and got fat and ugly. It'll be great.
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