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It's always been all I've wanted in life -- to be a housewife and… - love like me ・ 日記
non solum memento mori, memento vivere sed etiam
It's always been all I've wanted in life -- to be a housewife and have kids. Because my parents and the rest of my family my whole life were telling me I was going to college and having some high-paying career "because you're too smart not to", I was hoping that I'd meet the man of my dreams in college so I could just take whatever classes I wanted (because I do like learning and am interested in a lot of things), and then when he graduated I'd quit and we'd get married and I'd be a housewife and have kids.

Since that didn't happen (I didn't meet very many guys I was willing to waste much time with at all), I've found myself utterly unable to complete the last semester I have left to actually get a degree. I just can't do it. That's not what I wanted, and I feel like getting a degree would be giving in to what they wanted for my life.

I've been toying with the idea of scraping together a portfolio and applying for art school in the fall, but I'm not really sure I'd be able to finish that, either, because ultimately I don't want any awards or certifications or diplomas or anything like that. I already know I'm smart and can do lots of things, and I don't really care to prove it yet again, because my whole life has been about proving myself, and I'm tired of that. I just want someone who is worthy of my love to love me. Why is that too much to ask?
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erisedraine From: erisedraine Date: Sunday 11th February 2007 23.03 (UTC) (Link)
If your ultimate goal is to get married and have kids why don't you focus entirely on that instead of wasting your time with a degree you'd only be getting for the sake of doing something. I mean... I really want to be a librarian but I hate school--I'm plugging through it anyway 'cause I'm so close to being finished.

Not that I want to pry, but are you attempting to date right now? I mean, you talk about these guys from your time in University but nobody new. If you want a husband you have to look, right?
valamelmeo From: valamelmeo Date: Monday 12th February 2007 05.53 (UTC) (Link)
I've met plenty of guys since then but never gotten past a first date, for whatever reason. Either I don't really like them or they don't really like me. And everyone I do get along with well is already taken, or there are other extenuating circumstances. This has been going on for nearly 5 years now, so I think I'm well within my rights to be depressed about it, even if I wasn't at old-maid age...
From: indramh Date: Friday 16th February 2007 09.22 (UTC) (Link)
Hello. It's me again, checking to see how you are doing and seeing if there is anything I can pray for you. Seems like there is one...

Do not lose hope. You're not alone in your search for a mate. In fact, all the young people— and not so young people— around me are complaining and despairing over the same thing. We (yes, this include me too) are all impatient to find that special someone, but it is a rare thing indeed to find a person who really understands you. In fact, you'd lucky to find just one in your entire lifetime. But I believe there is someone who wants to call you: ‘You are the little maiden in my eye’. You just haven't met him yet. God Himself said that it is not good for humans to be alone. That you have such a strong desire to have your own family looks especially promising. May I dare ask you to trust Him in this one thing? I wouldn’t be surprised if you find your person at the most unexpected moment, in the most unexpected place. Who knows, you might meet him in grad school!

Hoping in Him,